Therapy Story: “By this age, I should have accomplished…”
From the beginning of pre-school, to the end of college, graduate school or beyond, our society dictates to us what we should be doing, when, how, and compared to whom. This source of these dominant stories are varied and include social, corporate, familial and ethnic/cultural spheres. These stories cause anxiety.
Therapy Story: "I feel so behind compared to other people."
It is common that people start therapy with the belief that they are behind in some area of life. It may be career, relationships, or even in understanding fundamental truths about their identity. So many of us believe that we should have accomplished more than we have at this point and judge ourselves based on others whom we perceive to be further along.
Therapy Story: “I feel so behind compared to other people.”
A variant on “I should have done this by now,” this statement reminds me of Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Behind this statement is the concept that specific life stages are tied to specific accomplishments, and that one cannot progress beyond a certain stage unless a task or milestone has been accomplished.
Therapy Story: "My problems are not as bad as other people’s problems.”
I often hear people say things like “I hate this job, but I have to remember, a lot of people don’t have a job,” (so I shouldn’t feel this way) or “There are a lot of people that have it a lot worse than me, so I should stop complaining.”